Abacha's Home going & Briefs With Sauce (Current Affairs With Humour)

Abducted Oyo School Students & Teachers 

 Forty three abductees, including children and infants,from schools in Oyo on May 15, have all been released unhurt. Opinion duffers on how this occured, depending on who is asked. 

Govt authorities said they were rescued by gallant army officers and one died in the operation. Opposition figures said the hostages said they were released. They were originally 43 but one teacher was gruesomely behe@ded as they were being abducted. 

"Phantom Agency" Berths in Nigeria

June 11, Femi Gbajabiamila, Chief of staff to the President, raised alarm over the existence of a fake federal agency which he is said to had signed the letter of appointment for its DG. He disclaimed this supposed federal agency and warned all to dissociate from it. 

This "phantom agency" reportedly existed and functioned till recently from Federal Secretariat III in Abuja, Nigeria, mere stone's throw to Eagles Square and Aso Rock. This  office was to have 309 staff, three senior federal civil service employees were already deployed there . 

DG Prince Matthew Adeniyi Adeyemi came out smoking. In a press conference, he claims Gbajabiamila collected N400illion from a total N600 million to facilitate his appointment, and demanded a further 48 percent cut from a N27 billion takeoff grant. He revealed Dolapo Tanimola, who took the money in US dollars to Gbajabiamila, died mysteriously from a fire incident in an Abuja hotel. And the hotel has been demolished. 

Adeyemi said he was detained, october523, a day after Tanimola passed, by the IGP monitoring unit attached to former Inspector General of Police Kayode Egbetokun when another N1.3 billion was inserted into the 2026 budget. So, he, the purported DG, knows nothing about it snd did no budget defence on it. His

An ad hoc committed if House of Representatives said yesterday, that letters written to several ministries and agencies blew open the agency as illegal. 

Maybe, internal squabbles started among the collaborators regarding monies spent and promises unkept plus threats of counter threats? 

Gbaj has often been embroiled in corruption scans from his speakership days at the National Assembly, $2m bribe re Petroleum bill for instance. And missing star link, Tanimola? Conveniently dead.

Hmmm ...

Voila! Here we are though. One agency exited. It held stakeholders meeting and engagements with foreign envoys from Thailand, EFCC, Dep. Speaker of House of Representatives, Ben Kalu, proposing an Investment fair, right in the heart of Abuja. Yet, it is fake. 

Nigerians now adulterate fake agencies too? Come and see Nigerian Wonder! 

"Marginalized" Maaji & Co Plotters Go To Trial

Colonel Maaji's sole dissatisfaction with passing his promotion exam and becoming a one star general led him to planning the putsch. 

Abeg, is it that oga Colonel is a master of "Olodo uprising" moronic dullards could not just pass the exams and failed? Or, was he deliberately failed?  He's had infractions with military authorities over petty petty quick ginger thieving so, it's deemed bad ti put him ahead in positions of leadership where he'll marshall troops? 

Whichever. Maaji led others in a badly-conceived and planned coup detat which he's been mulling since 2023! He cites mass discontent over welfare and financial inadequacy to cope with rising economic wise as other contributory factors for his avenging mission. 

For two years. Using agricultural terms like harvest for coup, fertilizer for weapons, trade support for clerics, he kept mulling. 

It's a good thing the coup was foiled. Front his wishy-washy planning (who plans a coup for TWO years and expect it to succeed unless he is severely delusional?), it would have been monumentally catastrophic for Nigeria if by mistake he pulled it off.. In answering one of the posers earlier asked here, it is little wonder Maaji "maajied" up and flunked his promotion exam twice. So clueless at exams but feels he can rule not a platoon. A whole Nigeria. This buffon would have sunk Nigeria down to the abyss. 

Nigeria dodged a bullet. Literally. 

Abacha Fired Atop a Woman, With Apple or No Apple?

The last time a soldier who failed promotion exams in his career but was helped along seized power, he became the worst dictator Nigeria ever had. 

Till date, Nigeria still hears of him from his permanent bed from yonder, if it's not loots still being recovered, it is loots being repatriated. For 28 years now. 

Now, it is one retired operative turned author sanctimoniously telling us with his full chest that, "actualeee" one, it is true, that the dark-coloured goggle-wearing general indeed died via the avenue he came into the world, stop a woman. 

That two, he did his final pulling out parade on top of a 27 year old Igbo virgin cum.pjarmacist. Not Indian prostitute as widely spread. 

And three, no oooh! he did not eat any apple from any lady fellow romper of any kind whatsoever to tip him over as famously bandied. He ate nothing, consumed nothing. 

What's the difference between 5 and 6? 

Dan buruba shege!